'tis the season of the holiday card

photo by Dan, Wonderly Imaging

Thanks to my friend Greenacresmama for the heads up on this awesome deal! New to the blogosphere, I'm still uncertain as to how I feel about schlepping products. However, considering I already use Shutterfly for my holiday cards, it would be simply ridiculous to pass up this opportunity to receive 50 free holiday cards for merely mentioning them in my blog! Duh. Bloggers: interested in this deal? Click here to sign up.

Try as I may, I have never been able to get around to sending Christmas cards on time. Ever since I can remember, my friends and family receive Happy New Year cards, or, frankly, no cards at all. My favorite of all time is Flash's first New Year, pictured. I created this using a design from Shutterfly's flat card collection that coordinated well with the dapper look I wanted to create.

I'm not sure what my New Year's card will entail this year, but you can be certain it will not include Kaellyn sitting in the middle of the ghetto mall on the lap of a random, dirty old man dressed in a tired old Santa suit. And Allen wasn't too keen on my idea of us all posing in matching footy pajamas. In fact, I believe his exact words were "absolutely not". With all the wonderful options from Shutterfly, however, I should have no problem.

I LOVE the simplicity of Shutterfly. I just checked out this year's holiday selection on Shutterfly's site and I must say, there are some gorgeous, modern designs this year! I'm usually really picky about my designs and prefer simple stuff with a modern, sassy flair. No fluff, frills, flashing, singing lights, fake holly border, etc. for this girl! Not that there's anything wrong with some good old-fashioned Griswaldian flair, but I'll leave that for others.

One of the best gifts I've ever given were the re-usable wall calendars that I created for my college roommates after graduation, each month featuring a different favorite memory from our college career. Jenn and Julie, do you still have these? I spent hours enlarging photos, laminating, creating a calendar for each month and then getting them bound. How lovely that Shutterfly now does this for you, with a click of the mouse, and at a fraction of the cost! Choose from several different designs, and give what could possibly be The Best Gift Ever! Toiling away in an office all day?  how about a personalized desk calendar, which would definitely brighten up any dark cubicle!

Wow, Shutterfly rocks! End shameless promotion here :)

all about The Baby?

Vicki, sweater look familiar?

For me, loneliness was the most surprising aspect of new motherhood. I never expected to feel so alone or isolated during those first few months, in a figurative sense. The Baby completed me, a la mini-me - yet I felt the sting of the loss of my old self, my old body, my old happy-go-luckiness. These feelings, I learned, had nothing to do with my husband, family or friends.  It might have helped if it were acceptable to discuss any of my feelings honestly with others. Why aren't these unsettling feelings, which are perfectly acceptable in the work, dating and marriage world, so unmentionable in this new world?

where's the puppy?

Because I'm moving soon, I haven't made much of an effort to get to know many any other new moms in the area. As you know, Kaellyn has been a regular at events like my ladies lunches since she was two weeks old, and we often spend time with old friends. Lately though, she is becoming too mobile for non-child-friendly environments. Plus, I want her to be around other babies, so she doesn't grow up barking, begging for treats and licking her butt.  I realize now how necessary it is to find support, for both of us, even if it exists outside my comfort zone. The time has come. 

lounging on the couch

So recently I've taken Kaellyn to more appropriate places, like a Mom's group, play areas, and playgroups, which, much to my chagrin, require interacting with Other Babies' Parents. That being said, the next aspect of being a mother for which I was least prepared was having to deal with other parents and parent-figures with whom I’d have absolutely no interest and no necessity for any kind of social contact if I weren't now a Mom With a Baby.  The New Mom World is like middle school. There are cliques, superior, snarky attitudes and undermining competition. A seemingly innocent playgroup is full of backhanded compliments, judgmental questions and long conversations about poop. These people conduct adult conversations in baby talk and no doubt their Facebook statuses are those that are featured on one of the best blogs ever, STFU Parents. Don't get me wrong, there are many average, well-rounded, interesting Baby Parents out there, many of whom are my friends, but most of them have full-time jobs, older children, or don't live near me. I suspect those I haven't met already have their own cliques and don't need to subject themselves to public activities to meet people.

Nothing can make one feel more inadequate than a clique of women armed with wipes and designer diaper bags. A few weeks ago, I attended a lunch through a Meet Up (key word - MEET) with six other moms and their babies, most of whom, had already formed a clique of which I was, obviously, no part. The only other mom who didn't seem to know anyone and I began to make small talk. She ran through the usual topics: our babies' names, ages, sleeping habits and developmental and physical progress (crawling, percentiles and the like). Her baby is sooooo thriving and healthy because she exclusively breastfeeds and had a natural childbirth! OMG! As I wiped the snot from Kaellyn's face and shoved a bottle of formula in her mouth, I smiled and nodded. I withheld the fact that not only did I have drugs during and after childbirth, but I would have gladly taken an epidural-to-go had it been offered. Not to mention I should probably own stock in Enfamil.

I used to spend a lot of time thinking about how I would not be "all about the baby" when I had a baby. I knew about these parents who only talked about The Baby, wouldn't leave The Baby, and shunned all activities that did not involve The Baby. That was not going to be me! So, here I am with a blog on which I mostly write about having a baby and take pictures of my baby. Is becoming one of "them" the only answer?

There has got to be some sort of in-between.

lounging on daddy

I do know that there can't be a finish line when it comes to communicating and competing with other parents. As in other aspects of life, there is always going to be someone who is smarter, better informed, healthier, prettier and better dressed than me (and my baby.) I'd bet my epidural that NO ONE is more organized than me though!!! Anyway, relationships in general are unpredictable - baby or no baby, you can't make somebody like or want to spend time with you; you can't make yourself like or want to be around somebody else, even if that person is a good person and deserving of friendship. No moral judgment, just life as we know it.

But guess what? Kaellyn doesn't care about any of that. A hug, some grub and love is all she needs right now. My insecurities and self-consciousness, the opinions of the better-informed moms with more advanced babies don’t matter to her. These people who elude me - those other parents I’m so intimidated and frustrated by are, for the most part, and will remain, strangers. And, as much as it kills me, I will continue to smile and nod until I find my inbetween.

 

the 8th month

At 8 months, Kaellyn is starting to look more like a little girl than a baby... and I feel rather bittersweet.

She is really on the move. She's crawling all over the place and is unbelievably fast! She pulls up on the stairs and furniture and manages to stand on her own. She has 3 teeth and another one on the way. She is moving towards eating more solid foods and has taken a liking to dog food (whoops). She has grown SO much. I studied child development in undergrad and graduate school and I am still constantly fascinated at how much The Baby learns and changes during these first several months. Her little brain has grown and expanded at an unbelievable rate - it's absolutely amazing.

My brain, on the other hand,  is exponentially shrinking. I'm quite often easily amused, snappish and absent-minded, most likely as a result of constantly being tired. I truly feel like a "mom". Yikes. Lately, my tired, old body has somehow starting to become "accustomed" to tiredness and exhaustion. Who knew this was even possible?  Again, human development never ceases to amaze me. A recent milestone of mine, wait for it... is walking the dogs and the baby at the same time (see above regarding 'easily amused'). Yes, this took 8 months to accomplish, but have you MET my dogs?? Here are a few other tidbits of absentminded knowledge:

• Nothing is fast anymore nor will it ever be again. There is no "running into the store" to grab something I forgot and there is no "stopping by", "for a little while", or "making an appearance" no matter what the occasion or event.

• It is virtually impossible to "nap when the baby naps". During Kaellyn's lifetime, I have had mild success with this advice a total of, um... .75 of a time.  Everything seemed so perfect, but as soon as I fell into a beauteous, peaceful slumber, she woke up crying! Despite the fact that I work part-time, which in reality means "work when the baby naps", necessities I used to take for granted such as showering, getting dressed, cleaning, emailing, eating, setting fantasy football lineups, and blogging actually become quite stressful, not to mention they get in the way of naps.

• Pinot Grigio and chocolate peanut butter swirl ice cream is a perfectly respectable dinner.

• It does not matter if you wrap your daughter in a pink blanket, stick a huge pink bow in her hair, and write “GIRL” on her forehead - a stranger still inevidably will say “HE is so cute.” 

• Being hungover with a baby is one of the worst, most horrible, difficult, challenging, life-changing experiences ever. I will NEVER drink too much again. Ever! ...really.

• Nothing will ever gross me out again. Enough said.

• My pre-pregnancy jeans may never fit again, and I'm ok with that.  But I'm still going to hold onto them. Who knows, I may eventually enjoy a form of exercise that doesn't involve lying on a mat so I can sneak in naps.

• My baby is interesting. Random people's babies - not so much. I really don't care much for babies I don't know and their respective parents'  opinions. No offense, while I'm sure they are intelligent, wonderful creatures, I am just not interested in how often the random lady in the park's baby poops, how much he weighs, what he ate for breakfast, or how much smarter and advanced he is than my baby. This does not surprise me, and is the main reason this blog is meant for family and close friends, i.e. those who care can CHOOSE to read it. That being said, stay tuned for my next post, "Other Babies' Parents".

waiting for pilates

well hello, kitty!

dinner outside on one of the last warm nights

cooking asian lettuce wraps

itty bitty stove

I love to cook. Cooking, like certain forms of cleaning, is therapeutic for me. I had planned to share recipes on this blog but unfortunately my teeny tiny temporary kitchen has caused too much frustration to result in cooking anything that involves more than 2 ingredients.

However, for Allen's birthday, since going out is no longer a viable option, I offered to make him a succulent dinner... and allowed him to choose the courses! Well, with the exception of anything requiring attention to detail, which I clearly and admittedly lack. Nerve-grating Rachel Ray's "Eyeball It" method (EyeBall It - A term for adding ingredients without measuring them) is my motto. Thus, automatically excluded were meat requiring a certain cooking temperature, dishes requiring meticulous measurement of ingredients (i.e. anything baked) and intricate, artistic dishes or those containing the words "wrapped", "stuffed" or "zest". Oh, also automatically excluded were any dishes involving an OVEN. Don't ask.

In the end, Allen requested a stir fry containing, but not limited to, carrots, water chestnuts, chicken and shrimp, with lettuce wraps as an appetizer. He also mentioned those round Chinese noodles but I couldn't find them in Giant, so I used flat lo mein noodles instead.

teeny tiny prep area

I found a simple recipe for lettuce wraps on Kalyn's Kitchen, a South Beach cooking blog I accidentally discovered, ironically, while researching baby names! Her recipes are simple, contain ingredients I usually have on hand, and are easily adaptable and of course I rarely have to actually measure out the ingredients.

So, a few spoonfuls of garlic here, a splattering of ginger there, a lil soy sauce, a splash of garlic chili sauce... resulted in an absolutely heavenly aroma! They were quite tasty, too. My lettuce wraps came out a little dry, but I suspect I cooked the turkey too long in an attempt to properly time the appetizer to be ready prior to the stir fry while only able to fit 1 other pot on the burner with the wok. I would post a picture of my wraps, but I used the wrong type of lettuce (romaine) and they didn't turn out pretty like Kalyn's.

The stir fry recipe is my own, but while delicious, it always turns out too watery. It's easy to drain in the end, but I haven't been able to figure out why this happens and how to fix it... any ideas?

Note: Do not attempt lettuce wraps unless you have a hard surface on which to eat (most people have these - they are called kitchen or dining room TABLES). Is it certainly not easy or enjoyable attempting to consume lettuce wraps while balanced on the edge of a couch with dogs underfoot and cats jumping abound and across the lap.

my assistant