guest post: becoming a father

By: Allen, guest columnist

Amy asked me to write her first guest blog, so after a few weeks of procrastination, I’ve finally had a chance to sit down to come up with some thoughts.  Coming up with a topic was much harder than I thought when she approached me several month ago with the idea of becoming a guest columnist.  I’ve enjoyed reading all of her previous blogs as she’s had some interesting observations on parenthood, so I thought I'd share mine.

For me, life has changed – but not to the extent of hers.  I still go to work each day and when Kaellyn was small (i.e. non-mobile), I did feel that things were different, but not that much different than in the past.  Now don’t get me wrong, life will never be like it used to be.  I mean, I gave up several softball teams... not to mention there are the sleep deprived nights.  This is in addition to no longer going out for happy hours or other spontaneous events!  Now, everything must be planned and discussed with “committee” in advance.  But getting back to my previous point, life has not changed as much for me as it has for Amy.  I mean, for her, every day is like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.  Her only break is when I come home in the evenings or when her folks come by to watch Kaellyn for several hours.  Otherwise, that baby is attached to her.

Besides the presence of my sweet daughter that I love dearly, the biggest change for me has been responsibility.  The focus in no longer just on either Amy or myself, it’s now about Kaellyn and the family.  For example, we just purchased our new home in Ashburn.  It was a tough sell to convince me to move outside the Beltway.  I love living in Arlington and being close to my friends here in the city.  But what we want is more affordable out there, the schools are better, and it’s apparently more family oriented.  I guess we'll find out for ourselves soon enough. I’ve kicked the cigars (or at least maybe once a month as a treat) and alcohol consumption has dropped dramatically.  I’ve almost tripled the life insurance policy and I've also started a college fund, thanks to the money my Mom gave me from the sale of my Grandmother’s home.

So while day-to-day activities may not have changed as much for me, I’m beginning to look at life from more of a "big picture" perspective as I try to insert more “responsibility” into my and my family's lives.

Feedback? Please leave a comment! And stay tuned for my next column... "Sports, Baby".

The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily those of blue-haired blonde.

it's beginning to look a lot like...

our ghetto xmas tree

The holidays, a very mobile baby, and work have kept me MIA from the blogosphere. Fortunately, I was able to catch up with both work and my holiday shopping over the past few days and I feel much relief. Online shopping, that is. I actually, hadn't left the Shack for 3 days until today. It's so bitter, bitter cold outside. And the wind! If you know me, you know I have absolutely no tolerance for cold. I seriously have been misplaced in Virginia. I hate to admit, but it's nice to have The Baby as an excuse not to have to leave the house for days on end.

The Baby! Speaking of Kaellyn, I can hardly believe that she is now 9 months old! She is 19 pounds (about 50th percentile) and 29 3/4 inches long (>98th percentile). This means 2 things - she is on track to be tall and skinny, and she has nearly outgrown the convenient snap-and-go car seat. Unfortunately, our snap-and-go has a weight or height limit of 30 pounds or inches. Oh how many dinners out we enjoyed thanks to the ingenious snap-and-go! Sigh.

You know, each month, I write a post filled with happiness and pride in my little baby's growth and accomplishments, but part of me actually feels anguish that my little baby isn’t so little anymore. I know I have said this before, but I never imagined how bittersweet it is to watch a child grow up right before my eyes. I actually feel like a glitch in the Matrix has occurred when I think about the fact that she’ll be a year old in less than three short months. How is it even possible that this first year of her life has slipped by so quickly?

On a lighter note, Kaellyn has had a lot of "firsts" this month! She can clap her hands, high five, raise her arms in "touchdown" (as my dad says, she's obviously not watching the Redskins!), and make a kissy face. She now has six teeth, several "words" in her vocabulary, and is cruising. Her hair is almost totally straight now and only sticks straight up if she sleeps a certain way. She has also experienced her first injury, one which I feared would become a black eye, but the experience wasn't as bad as I expected.

touchdown!

It has really hit me that the things Allen and I do and say today and in the future will shape the person Kaellyn becomes when she’s older. While I wave to her, thinking nothing of it, she was watching and absorbing, only to emulate me a few weeks later. She’s a sponge taking it all in, and I became really aware of this after she waved to me for the first time. But what about other things I say and do? I'm not perfect (shocking, I know!) and I (gasp!) make mistakes. I will have to choose my words and actions wisely, because clearly everything I do and say as a parent stays in her brain today and shapes her tomorrow.

In theory I already knew all of this, but to see it in action — to see her repeat something I had done, like clapping my hands — really put it in perspective for me. I know I will most definitely mess up as a parent and set the wrong example many times in the years to come, but I hope that being much more aware of the things I do and say will lessen the magnitude of my mistakes.

'tis the season of the holiday card

photo by Dan, Wonderly Imaging

Thanks to my friend Greenacresmama for the heads up on this awesome deal! New to the blogosphere, I'm still uncertain as to how I feel about schlepping products. However, considering I already use Shutterfly for my holiday cards, it would be simply ridiculous to pass up this opportunity to receive 50 free holiday cards for merely mentioning them in my blog! Duh. Bloggers: interested in this deal? Click here to sign up.

Try as I may, I have never been able to get around to sending Christmas cards on time. Ever since I can remember, my friends and family receive Happy New Year cards, or, frankly, no cards at all. My favorite of all time is Flash's first New Year, pictured. I created this using a design from Shutterfly's flat card collection that coordinated well with the dapper look I wanted to create.

I'm not sure what my New Year's card will entail this year, but you can be certain it will not include Kaellyn sitting in the middle of the ghetto mall on the lap of a random, dirty old man dressed in a tired old Santa suit. And Allen wasn't too keen on my idea of us all posing in matching footy pajamas. In fact, I believe his exact words were "absolutely not". With all the wonderful options from Shutterfly, however, I should have no problem.

I LOVE the simplicity of Shutterfly. I just checked out this year's holiday selection on Shutterfly's site and I must say, there are some gorgeous, modern designs this year! I'm usually really picky about my designs and prefer simple stuff with a modern, sassy flair. No fluff, frills, flashing, singing lights, fake holly border, etc. for this girl! Not that there's anything wrong with some good old-fashioned Griswaldian flair, but I'll leave that for others.

One of the best gifts I've ever given were the re-usable wall calendars that I created for my college roommates after graduation, each month featuring a different favorite memory from our college career. Jenn and Julie, do you still have these? I spent hours enlarging photos, laminating, creating a calendar for each month and then getting them bound. How lovely that Shutterfly now does this for you, with a click of the mouse, and at a fraction of the cost! Choose from several different designs, and give what could possibly be The Best Gift Ever! Toiling away in an office all day?  how about a personalized desk calendar, which would definitely brighten up any dark cubicle!

Wow, Shutterfly rocks! End shameless promotion here :)

all about The Baby?

Vicki, sweater look familiar?

For me, loneliness was the most surprising aspect of new motherhood. I never expected to feel so alone or isolated during those first few months, in a figurative sense. The Baby completed me, a la mini-me - yet I felt the sting of the loss of my old self, my old body, my old happy-go-luckiness. These feelings, I learned, had nothing to do with my husband, family or friends.  It might have helped if it were acceptable to discuss any of my feelings honestly with others. Why aren't these unsettling feelings, which are perfectly acceptable in the work, dating and marriage world, so unmentionable in this new world?

where's the puppy?

Because I'm moving soon, I haven't made much of an effort to get to know many any other new moms in the area. As you know, Kaellyn has been a regular at events like my ladies lunches since she was two weeks old, and we often spend time with old friends. Lately though, she is becoming too mobile for non-child-friendly environments. Plus, I want her to be around other babies, so she doesn't grow up barking, begging for treats and licking her butt.  I realize now how necessary it is to find support, for both of us, even if it exists outside my comfort zone. The time has come. 

lounging on the couch

So recently I've taken Kaellyn to more appropriate places, like a Mom's group, play areas, and playgroups, which, much to my chagrin, require interacting with Other Babies' Parents. That being said, the next aspect of being a mother for which I was least prepared was having to deal with other parents and parent-figures with whom I’d have absolutely no interest and no necessity for any kind of social contact if I weren't now a Mom With a Baby.  The New Mom World is like middle school. There are cliques, superior, snarky attitudes and undermining competition. A seemingly innocent playgroup is full of backhanded compliments, judgmental questions and long conversations about poop. These people conduct adult conversations in baby talk and no doubt their Facebook statuses are those that are featured on one of the best blogs ever, STFU Parents. Don't get me wrong, there are many average, well-rounded, interesting Baby Parents out there, many of whom are my friends, but most of them have full-time jobs, older children, or don't live near me. I suspect those I haven't met already have their own cliques and don't need to subject themselves to public activities to meet people.

Nothing can make one feel more inadequate than a clique of women armed with wipes and designer diaper bags. A few weeks ago, I attended a lunch through a Meet Up (key word - MEET) with six other moms and their babies, most of whom, had already formed a clique of which I was, obviously, no part. The only other mom who didn't seem to know anyone and I began to make small talk. She ran through the usual topics: our babies' names, ages, sleeping habits and developmental and physical progress (crawling, percentiles and the like). Her baby is sooooo thriving and healthy because she exclusively breastfeeds and had a natural childbirth! OMG! As I wiped the snot from Kaellyn's face and shoved a bottle of formula in her mouth, I smiled and nodded. I withheld the fact that not only did I have drugs during and after childbirth, but I would have gladly taken an epidural-to-go had it been offered. Not to mention I should probably own stock in Enfamil.

I used to spend a lot of time thinking about how I would not be "all about the baby" when I had a baby. I knew about these parents who only talked about The Baby, wouldn't leave The Baby, and shunned all activities that did not involve The Baby. That was not going to be me! So, here I am with a blog on which I mostly write about having a baby and take pictures of my baby. Is becoming one of "them" the only answer?

There has got to be some sort of in-between.

lounging on daddy

I do know that there can't be a finish line when it comes to communicating and competing with other parents. As in other aspects of life, there is always going to be someone who is smarter, better informed, healthier, prettier and better dressed than me (and my baby.) I'd bet my epidural that NO ONE is more organized than me though!!! Anyway, relationships in general are unpredictable - baby or no baby, you can't make somebody like or want to spend time with you; you can't make yourself like or want to be around somebody else, even if that person is a good person and deserving of friendship. No moral judgment, just life as we know it.

But guess what? Kaellyn doesn't care about any of that. A hug, some grub and love is all she needs right now. My insecurities and self-consciousness, the opinions of the better-informed moms with more advanced babies don’t matter to her. These people who elude me - those other parents I’m so intimidated and frustrated by are, for the most part, and will remain, strangers. And, as much as it kills me, I will continue to smile and nod until I find my inbetween.

 

the 8th month

At 8 months, Kaellyn is starting to look more like a little girl than a baby... and I feel rather bittersweet.

She is really on the move. She's crawling all over the place and is unbelievably fast! She pulls up on the stairs and furniture and manages to stand on her own. She has 3 teeth and another one on the way. She is moving towards eating more solid foods and has taken a liking to dog food (whoops). She has grown SO much. I studied child development in undergrad and graduate school and I am still constantly fascinated at how much The Baby learns and changes during these first several months. Her little brain has grown and expanded at an unbelievable rate - it's absolutely amazing.

My brain, on the other hand,  is exponentially shrinking. I'm quite often easily amused, snappish and absent-minded, most likely as a result of constantly being tired. I truly feel like a "mom". Yikes. Lately, my tired, old body has somehow starting to become "accustomed" to tiredness and exhaustion. Who knew this was even possible?  Again, human development never ceases to amaze me. A recent milestone of mine, wait for it... is walking the dogs and the baby at the same time (see above regarding 'easily amused'). Yes, this took 8 months to accomplish, but have you MET my dogs?? Here are a few other tidbits of absentminded knowledge:

• Nothing is fast anymore nor will it ever be again. There is no "running into the store" to grab something I forgot and there is no "stopping by", "for a little while", or "making an appearance" no matter what the occasion or event.

• It is virtually impossible to "nap when the baby naps". During Kaellyn's lifetime, I have had mild success with this advice a total of, um... .75 of a time.  Everything seemed so perfect, but as soon as I fell into a beauteous, peaceful slumber, she woke up crying! Despite the fact that I work part-time, which in reality means "work when the baby naps", necessities I used to take for granted such as showering, getting dressed, cleaning, emailing, eating, setting fantasy football lineups, and blogging actually become quite stressful, not to mention they get in the way of naps.

• Pinot Grigio and chocolate peanut butter swirl ice cream is a perfectly respectable dinner.

• It does not matter if you wrap your daughter in a pink blanket, stick a huge pink bow in her hair, and write “GIRL” on her forehead - a stranger still inevidably will say “HE is so cute.” 

• Being hungover with a baby is one of the worst, most horrible, difficult, challenging, life-changing experiences ever. I will NEVER drink too much again. Ever! ...really.

• Nothing will ever gross me out again. Enough said.

• My pre-pregnancy jeans may never fit again, and I'm ok with that.  But I'm still going to hold onto them. Who knows, I may eventually enjoy a form of exercise that doesn't involve lying on a mat so I can sneak in naps.

• My baby is interesting. Random people's babies - not so much. I really don't care much for babies I don't know and their respective parents'  opinions. No offense, while I'm sure they are intelligent, wonderful creatures, I am just not interested in how often the random lady in the park's baby poops, how much he weighs, what he ate for breakfast, or how much smarter and advanced he is than my baby. This does not surprise me, and is the main reason this blog is meant for family and close friends, i.e. those who care can CHOOSE to read it. That being said, stay tuned for my next post, "Other Babies' Parents".

waiting for pilates

well hello, kitty!

dinner outside on one of the last warm nights

cooking asian lettuce wraps

itty bitty stove

I love to cook. Cooking, like certain forms of cleaning, is therapeutic for me. I had planned to share recipes on this blog but unfortunately my teeny tiny temporary kitchen has caused too much frustration to result in cooking anything that involves more than 2 ingredients.

However, for Allen's birthday, since going out is no longer a viable option, I offered to make him a succulent dinner... and allowed him to choose the courses! Well, with the exception of anything requiring attention to detail, which I clearly and admittedly lack. Nerve-grating Rachel Ray's "Eyeball It" method (EyeBall It - A term for adding ingredients without measuring them) is my motto. Thus, automatically excluded were meat requiring a certain cooking temperature, dishes requiring meticulous measurement of ingredients (i.e. anything baked) and intricate, artistic dishes or those containing the words "wrapped", "stuffed" or "zest". Oh, also automatically excluded were any dishes involving an OVEN. Don't ask.

In the end, Allen requested a stir fry containing, but not limited to, carrots, water chestnuts, chicken and shrimp, with lettuce wraps as an appetizer. He also mentioned those round Chinese noodles but I couldn't find them in Giant, so I used flat lo mein noodles instead.

teeny tiny prep area

I found a simple recipe for lettuce wraps on Kalyn's Kitchen, a South Beach cooking blog I accidentally discovered, ironically, while researching baby names! Her recipes are simple, contain ingredients I usually have on hand, and are easily adaptable and of course I rarely have to actually measure out the ingredients.

So, a few spoonfuls of garlic here, a splattering of ginger there, a lil soy sauce, a splash of garlic chili sauce... resulted in an absolutely heavenly aroma! They were quite tasty, too. My lettuce wraps came out a little dry, but I suspect I cooked the turkey too long in an attempt to properly time the appetizer to be ready prior to the stir fry while only able to fit 1 other pot on the burner with the wok. I would post a picture of my wraps, but I used the wrong type of lettuce (romaine) and they didn't turn out pretty like Kalyn's.

The stir fry recipe is my own, but while delicious, it always turns out too watery. It's easy to drain in the end, but I haven't been able to figure out why this happens and how to fix it... any ideas?

Note: Do not attempt lettuce wraps unless you have a hard surface on which to eat (most people have these - they are called kitchen or dining room TABLES). Is it certainly not easy or enjoyable attempting to consume lettuce wraps while balanced on the edge of a couch with dogs underfoot and cats jumping abound and across the lap.

my assistant

happy halloween?

not the photo op I had imagined

It came as a surprise to me when I found myself sitting outside this afternoon carefully and methodically carving a pumpkin.  It was calming, satisfying work and I was actually excited to put my pumpkin outside next to Allen's and Kaellyn's. Those who know me know I am not a fan of certain holidays, Halloween being second only to New Year's Eve as the most annoying. But, as I've mentioned before, Halloween is a Big Deal to Allen.

If I had a dime for each time I've heard someone (myself included) talk about how becoming a parent really changes you,  I'd be rich (and I most certainly wouldn't live in The Shack or wear hooded mom sweatshirts from Old Navy). I suppose it is true that when you have a baby you lose a little bit of cynicism and begin to see the world through the baby's innocent eyes and truly are able to experience the world in a calmer, slower way. Well, maybe.

Cue Pregnant Fantasy #347 - Taking The Baby to the Pumpkin Patch! I couldn't wait! Allen mentioned a pumpkin sale in the parking lot just down the street, but that was hardly acceptable! I wanted to go to a REAL pumpkin patch. I wanted to sip apple cider and chew on hay, while frolicking with the weens through row after row of pumpkin. My mom reminded me of Evergreen Acres, a Patch owned and operated by their neighbor 1/2 mile down the street, out in the country. Perfect, I thought! We loaded the baby, dogs and associated gear into the truck, ready to make a day of it.

winding road AFTER the 1/2 mile walk

I had the grand idea to walk to the Patch from my parents' house - it's right around the bend, after all! Baby secure in the Ergo, I failed to remember that "around the bend" is a much farther distance in the country than in the city, and that there was also a long winding road leading to the farm once we arrived. Upon arrival, we were informed by the owner of the patch that we could not take the dogs to the patch and by Kaellyn that she was ready to take a nap. There was hay, and rows of pumpkins, but it was hot, and there were, ewe, bugs. Did I mention that Kaellyn wanted to take a nap? Oh, and we (read: Allen) had to carry 40 pounds of pumpkin back "around the bend". Needless to say, our day at the pumpkin patch was not picture perfect but it certainly was a learning experience.

Below are some photos of Kaellyn in her bumble bee costume. She didn't like it very much. In fact, I'm beginning to think that maybe, like me, Kaellyn just isn't a fan of Halloween in general. That's ok. I just hope she doesn't inherit Allen's disdain for the Christmas season, or we're in trouble.

the one semi-peaceful moment

at least one of us is happy!

note Flash was spared this year

shooting The Baby

My friend Christina is learning photography, and Kaellyn had the honor to be one of her first human subjects. Keallyn had just turned 6 months old and I was eager for the opportunity to have some professional photos done, Christina was eager to practice taking some, and Kaellyn was eager to, well, do what babies do. We had a fun afternoon, and even had a mid-shoot wardrobe change! The shoot was before Kaellyn was crawling, so I can imagine it would be a lot more challenging with a mobile baby (isn't everything?!).

The end results very much exceeded my expectations. Not only are the photos absolutely stunning, but they truly capture Kaellyn's personality and development at 6 months. And believe it or not, I actually really like each and every photo. It took me forever to decide which shots to display here, and I just know I'm going to have an even more difficult time choosing which ones to frame and display.  I can't wait to spruce up this blog, too!

In the end, I decided to feature different photos than Christina featured on her blog. Visit her blog, C&C Marriage Factory, to see more! I think Christina is extremely talented, and she has definitely found her calling!

water babies

While I was pregnant, I fantasized about taking my baby swimming. We would have matching cover-ups and lounge around on a mother-daughter raft while singing sweet summer lullabies. Realistically, the internet is abound with information about infants and swimming. Did you know that babies who swim have more advanced motor development, social skills, and intelligence? And OMG - in England early swimming has been found to helps babies to talk earlier (er... would this really be a good thing?)! Also, babies who swim regularly tend to sleep more soundly, and they are less likely than other babies to suffer from colds, sniffles, and even asthma? Shut UP!!

On the other hand there's the contaminated water, increase in ear infections not to mention hyponatremia and other arbitrary hypo-ailments.  The internet is also ripe with stories of parents who, after beginning swimming early, become actually less vigilant around the pool because they mistakenly believe their young child can swim. The latest concern is, get this, the apparent possible erosion of tooth enamel from the acidity of the pool water. Sheesh. My baby just got some teeth and now they could erode away? Sometimes I wonder if parenting might have been somewhat easier back in the day of my parents' age. Sure, they didn't have all the cool gadgets and mechanical accoutrement that we have, but they also weren't bombarded from all directions by an overabundance of superfluous information and unsolicited advice.

While any potential beneficial effects are all well and good, my considerations when beginning an infant swim "class" were the following: will she enjoy it and will I enjoy it? I did not enroll expecting KK to become an Olympic swimmer by age one. I did so because I love the water and spent my childhood poolside, and hope that my daughter will someday share that interest. Also, Water Babies is yet another activity to get us out of the Shack to meet new moms and babies, and Kaellyn has some really cute swimwear (including cover-ups). Besides, she seemed to enjoy the pool at the beach during the summer, if not particularly the water at least the social aspect of it. Heck, she spent nearly 10 months floating around in the womb, so why not?

From my experience so far, these "classes" are more like a playgroup in the water. We sing songs.  We do the Hokey Pokey in the water.  We kick and splash. The wheels on the bus go round and round. The class also mixes up the day a bit and takes up a big chunk of the "witching hours" between 4-7pm when nothing seems to sooth a cranky baby. As an added bonus, the entire ordeal really tires Kaellyn out, so she usually sleeps nicely through the night afterward.

Taking a baby swimming alone is really difficult. I learned this the hard way on the first night of class. The class in Arlington county is offered only on the weekends and evenings so it is enormously popular and the damp, musty locker rooms are full of frantic parents with wet, pruned children invariably underfoot. I did not have a working strategy for transporting The Baby, struggling to get myself and said baby undressed and dressed, all while using one arm and holding the squirming baby in the other.  Being dripping wet, cold and barely clothed, finagling a naked baby - not so easy. Thus Water Babies is no longer a mommy and me event but instead... a Family Event!

Yes, I just posted a picture of myself wearing a bathing suit (a mom bathing suit, no less) on the internet, and I don't care. Another sign of adulthood, I reckon.

Doing the worm:

Swim to the duck:

7 months!

At seven months, Kaellyn is doing all sorts of things that a few weeks ago I had only imagined possible. She has become very aware of the world around her and is basically crawling! She loves using her hands and mouth to discover everything - and by everything, I mean everything! Nothing is safe - thus the childproofing has begun.  She can't get very far in the Shack, though. Everywhere she goes, she runs into a wall (see video below of the mobile baby). She is very observant and recognizes her own name (and it's variations) and the opening theme song to General Hospital. She loves the Zoo that lives in our house, and her most recent fascination is the Big Orange Cat (BOC).

Kaellyn has two teeth on the bottom that are getting really sharp! She has started swimming lessons and we are taking a pilates class together (her plank is da bomb). She has also started sitting in a high chair, and now that she is eating 3 meals of solid food a day, we are able to feed her in our makeshift dining room/office/computer room instead of balanced on the couch/dinner area/dog fortress! 

Kaellyn recently spent two nights with Grandma Kathy and Grandpa Ed while Allen and I went to St. Louis for a wedding.  St. Louis is a nice little city that offers a lot to do. It certainly was fun to dream about all those fun activities while spending an entire day asleep. Actually, we did manage to see the Arch and taste lots of yummy food between the wedding activities and resting. It's funny how one's accommodation priorities change when weekends away are few and far-between. A large, comfy bed and hot, luxurious shower were definitely necessities! Being near the hottest restaurants and bars? Not so much. Oh, and reading a novel on the plane? Extravagant! By the way, in case you are wondering, while I missed Kaellyn, I didn't worry about her. It was great to get away and recharge (read: sleep) knowing she was in good hands and having a fun time.

Kaellyn crawling:

hey mommy, let's scan some documents while eating these yummy prunes!

The Jumparoo is boring and confining now that I am mobile!

babies who lunch

In case I haven't mentioned it, Having A Baby really does change everything. If there's anything the past few months have taught me, it's that having a child is like any other responsibility, you have to respect the limits that it imposes. Take eating out, for example. We’ve been taking Kaellyn to restaurants with us since she was two weeks old without any problems, but suddenly around four months she became a different baby in public. Instead of sleeping or quietly observing her surroundings, she now wants to interact with the world around her. She wants to sit at the table and eat WITH us and will no longer sleep or calmly watch while we devour the daily specials in front of her - the nerve! This makes me nervous and anxious.

Cobb-envy at Screwtop

Dining out is my favorite activity, and while it is still a option and certainly something we want to take advantage of while Kaellyn is still somewhat immobile, it truly has become an EVENT. Such an event that must be planned carefully and cautiously.  First, we must go out during off-peak, or blue-hair, hours. Not only do we want to avoid being two slices into a pizza when The Baby decides it's bedtime and demands a bottle, but it is also important to avoid peak lunch and dinner hours if we want to comfortably frequent an establishment that is not typically over-run with children... like my favorite wine and cheese bistro, Screwtop (who's restroom, by the way, boasts the best baby-changing station I have seen in all of Arlington!). Dining during off-peak hours will also lessen the number of patrons to potentially annoy if things go south. Let's face it, if folks wanted to dine with screaming babies or children underfoot, Chucky Cheese would be one hot happy hour spot.

Not only is it important to be cautious of The Baby's behavior, but let's not forget about our own! While Allen and I can now matter-of-factly discuss Kaellyn's bowel movements while dining on a succulent mahi mahi, I've unfortunately learned the hard way that this is not something fellow dinner patrons enjoy accidentally overhearing. Oh, and I think it goes without saying that lingering over a bottle of wine or ordering one appetizer at a time to savor the dining experience are no longer options. 

mommy's friends are so mature!

I'm really quite fortunate to have several close girlfriends who do not have babies, yet their places in life currently allow them the luxury of lunching with me and Kaellyn on a regular basis, often during our coveted blue hair hours! Perhaps we are the reason they drink wine, but if any of these lovely ladies seem to mind the presence of A Baby, they are masters at hiding it. It's amazing how quickly you learn to appreciate what used to be taken for granted. For me, spending time with other mothers and babies is sort of a lifeline, but there is nothing quite like a little old-fashioned validation from those friends who knew me pre-motherhood, back when the thought of muttering nursery rhymes over a moderately chilled Pino Grigio horrified me. These are the type of friends that, no matter how different our lives have become, can listen and share without judgement, reminding me of who I am... until death do us part. Or at least until the first major table-side meltdown, or God forbid, blowout.

Here are some recent pictures of Kaellyn at the park. Now that she is semi-mobile, I can fulfill my pregnant dreams of lounging at the park in a cute stylish mom outfit, sipping a latte and catching up on my reading while The Baby plays and emits sounds of laughter and happiness. Ok, so the weather is in the 90's again, none of my cute outfits fit, and it is impossible to order, purchase, carry and drink a latte while transporting a baby, but you get the picture.

Wearing purple: