don't call me m'am!

wait, these aren't Cabbage Patch Kids!

Last month, I had the opportunity to spend time with my bff from elementary school while she was vacationing in the DC area with her family. Vicki has a beautiful family and is as gorgeous as I remember... and tiny! I felt like an amazon next to her. After 20 or so odd years, I was still struck by her calm, caring manner, not to mention her ability to coordinate and accessorize the perfect outfit, a talent I was always so jealous of back in the day of parachute pants and neon rubber bracelets. It's funny what, as adults, we chose to remember, and what we choose to forget (i.e. my mullet, as seen in photo album ever so inappropriately entitled "1985: Pretty Young Things").

My time with Vicki, albeit short, triggered fond memories of my first true, deep friendship, one that taught me to open up and trust.  It also triggered insecurities of a fragile time in life, including the subsequent loss of the friendship and all that it entailed. A therapist would tell me that this experience shaped who I am now, as an adult. Wait... adult? You know, despite my blue hair tendencies to go to bed at 9 and passion for early bird specials, I still constantly manage to forget that I'm an adult. If "you are only as old as you feel" is true, while I feel tired and often quite crotchety, I most certainly don't feel old. Frankly, I feel like I've been masquerading as a grown-up for the past fifteen years or so.

Nowadays whenever I go somewhere or am referred to as Kaellyn's "mother" I feel like I'm masquerading as a parent.  I don't know what I'm doing half of the time and on the rare occasion I manage to pretend to pull it off, all those insecurities of years past come to the surface. I wonder if anyone else feels this way or if this is a personal psychological reaction to Becoming a Mother. So if I'm just pretending to be a grown-up, how can I possibly be in charge of another person's life all day, every day? How can I, fake grown-up and fake parent, attend to this living being's every need, day in and day out, teach her confidence, values, and life skills, and still manage to take care of myself and my own needs? Hold on, aren't these old peoples' thoughts? Surely I am not old!  Hmmmm... maybe I really am an adult after all!

Boo!

But enough about me! Kalleyn has been super busy lately. Not only is she on the verge of crawling, but after much crankiness and many sleepless nights, her first tooth has surfaced (on the bottom). She enjoyed her first NFL Sunday and discovered the computer. Halloween, Allen's favorite holiday thus a special, incredibly festive time in our household, has come early this year.  Because Kaellyn has already outgrown a lot of her size 6-month outfits, an underlying fear exists that she will also outgrow the long-awaited for Halloween pajamas before October arrives. Must... ensure... adequate... outfit rotation. Although I'm sure it is only a matter of time before new Halloween attire magically appears in her drawers, just as the tombstones, fog machines, fire-breathing cat and cauldron also manage to slowly but surely make their way out of storage to adorn the Shack and front yard. Yes, we are "that house". I just hope the Weens are spared this year. I shudder to think of the Pumpkin Incident of 2008, after which Flash cannot look at a pet outfit without falling to the floor and pretending he's dead.

the Pumpkin Incident

ready for some football!

watching the Pack

very busy & important

um, privacy please!!